I have learned so many things in my life but I think the most valuable lessons I have been taught are from my children. They teach me new things every day, I have learned that I was able to experience love that I never thought imaginable. I have also learned that my greatest fears are all circled around them. I worry about what they eat, are they sleeping enough, are they happy, are my mistakes going to mess them up in life? I never expected the endless amount of worry I would have over my two little angels.
Some of my biggest concerns have been related to my beautiful son and his challenges with speech and language. I never really allowed myself to show these concerns to many people, only the really, really close ones know my sleepless nights thinking about these challenges and what that would mean for this sweet kid with the most compassionate heart. As a mom you want everything to be easy for your kids and you don't want them to struggle. But if you take the mom perspective out and you look at it more objectively you realize that sometimes you have to struggle to meet your goals, and because it was more difficult you have a different appreciation for it.
Jace has taught me to have faith and BE PATIENT. To let him learn to express himself in his own way, on his own timeline and on his own terms. Sure, I think I provided him some essential tools to aid him along the way through Speech Therapy (love Miss Holly), his Speech Program at Preschool, reinforcing techniques from speech and school. But mostly what he needed was time. I knew he would get there, I could sense it but of course I worried about it. Watching him grow up has been a blessing that I could never explain adequately in words. Experiencing him finding his voice, his sweet, sweet voice and use his language functionally has been an overwhelming feeling of happiness, relief and pride. I am so proud of him, he shows me every day that if I have patience and I believe things happen. For this I am so grateful, I think sometimes we need reminders like that and I hope he knows I will always believe in him. Always.
Jace, I dreamed of having a son my whole life before you. But you exceeded all of my expectations in every way. As I raise you and teach you things, I have learned to learn from you as well. Thank you for your sweet and soft voice that says "I love you, Mommy" or "wow, that is cool" - as I type I can hear you in my head saying these things and it warms my heart. Your smile melts my heart. Keep learning and growing like you are, I will be here with you every step of the way. I love you, sweet boy.
